


Blinding Lights

by fiveyaaas



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Boss/Employee Relationship, Drug Addiction, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Falling In Love, M/M, Multi, Night Club AU, Past Drug Addiction, Unhealthy Relationships, alluther are married, benkliego are not all together per se but they are implied to sleep together multiple times, diego is a bar tender and he also knows too many of everyone’s problems and drama, five is a club owner and vanya is a dancer at the club, five is an asshole in this, horrance are in a relationship and diego’s kinda their third wheel, rated m for later reasons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:09:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25429702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiveyaaas/pseuds/fiveyaaas
Summary: Recovering from addiction, Five Hargreeves decides to buy a nightclub (because he’s an idiot). There, he meets the dancer, Vanya, who he decides that he should definitely sleep with (again, because he’s an idiot).
Relationships: Allison Hargreeves/Luther Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves/Diego Hargreeves/Klaus Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves/Klaus Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy/Vanya Hargreeves
Comments: 67
Kudos: 127





	1. I’ve been on my own for long enough

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nightcoast](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightcoast/gifts).



> This story is for Lee and took so long to get posted (I’m so sorry). Technically speaking, this is for the Fiveya secret santa event. The idea was an AU where Five is the new owner of a nightclub and Vanya is a dancer there. This will eventually be Fiveya. Five is an asshole in this, but he’ll get better.

Generally speaking, it was frowned upon for a recovering addict to buy a club where alcohol and pills ran rampant, but Five did not care in the slightest. Buying the club had been a sort of impulse decision, his businesses had been doing fine, but truly it was the part of his brain that hoped to fail that did it. He liked putting himself right on the line, the only adrenaline he allowed himself to have after having to make a rather generous contribution to some cancer kids charity in order to get the press (and Luther) off his ass during his last bender on cocaine.

Technically, the therapist (that his brother forced him to go to after threatening rehab) told him that surrounding himself in this environment was dangerous and that she strongly advised against it. He did not listen, mainly because whatever his therapist told him not to do was exactly all he wanted to do. 

It had been a purchase he made on a whim, walking by the club in one of the more affluent parts of town where he had first gotten fucked up, and he felt sentimental. 

His purchase of the club had caused a few raised eyebrows and an article talked about how his donations to charity had not shown he was a changed man that cared about the children or whatever. He didn’t think that there needed to be an article written to say he did not give a shit about the children, honestly. 

After a little research, he picked a date for the reopening of the club, keeping on all the dancers and bartenders because they were the biggest draws for customers. He imagined that it was some sort of pansexual house of sin, though he had been so out of it when he had gone before that he had never really known what the ambiance was supposed to be. After a quick look through all of the workers, he imagined he was right. Looking at them, he saw immediately why they were popular. When he had given some speech about keeping the same energy, a petite brunette had raised her hand and asked how their health insurance plans would change. He had raised his brow and told her that it would stay the same, secretly admiring that the girl would ask that the first time they met. 

He realized that her bravery was not the only strong quality on the night the doors reopened for the club. 

The room had been filled with wealthy assholes and their too young dates when a new, overplayed Weeknd song came on. He was just rolling his eyes at the decision of the song when he saw her. 

Long brown hair fell in waves down her back, her bangs falling just above her eyebrows. Her lips had been painted a cherry red, and the rest of her face had been sculpted to emphasize her bone structure. Fake eyelashes blinked and rained glitter against her dress. The dress was a simple black thing, subtle but alluring nonetheless. Thigh high boots somehow didn’t manage to make her fall as she expertly danced before the club. 

The lyrics of Blinding Lights hung in the air as she walked over to the poll on the platform she stood on. 

Delicate, manicured hands stretched against the metal as she twirled teasingly for the crowd. It wasn’t until her legs had wrapped around, and she leaned her head back that he realized she was looking at him. Upon noticing his stare, she winked at him before turning around and beckoned a finger to somewhere behind him. He glanced back, seeing another one of the dancers walking forward. 

It was clear to him that the two were friends as the guy sauntering forward, pausing when they had reached each other. Their easy, amused grins gave him the idea they had probably worked together for a while. 

“Who is that?” he asked one of the workers that was to his side. He vaguely remembers the worker being named Ben. 

Ben raised his brows, “Klaus? No offense, sir, but I’m already in a relationship with him.”

Five frowned at him, “I meant the girl.”

“Oh, you meant Vanya!” Ben laughed. “Good luck with that.”

“What do you mean?” He asked, not even realizing he had grabbed a drink and had taken a sip. Eh, it could’ve been worse at least. 

Ben glanced up at him, “Vanya is just… not the type of a girl to mess around.”

At Five’s frown and meaningful nod to where she danced, he thought he saw a flicker of annoyance in Ben’s eyes. “Don’t let that cloud your judgement. When Vanya isn’t here, the mask comes down. And, frankly, even if she were the type to mess around, it would not be with someone like you.”

“Her boss?” Five asked, hoping to provoke what Ben clearly wanted to say. 

“No, an asshole,” Ben responded, walking away. 

Five had not expected him to say what he really thought, Ben surprised him. And, honestly, he was happy about it. 

Once Ben was out of sight, though, he turned his gaze back on the dancing woman. The way her body flowed to the music expertly made him want to approach her even more. He settled for drinking instead. 

He drank a lot that night. A sort of bitterness filled him by looking at Vanya flirting with men and women alike, surprising himself. He imagined that it was the same idea of a child wanting a toy once another played with it. Five imagined this was just him wanting to play with this toy. 

Still, if he wanted something, he would get it.

***

By the time the opening party started to wind down, Five was hammered. Even though he tended to not have trouble with balance, he blamed his lack of mental clarity on why he walked over to Vanya that night. She had been walking to go get changed when he stopped her.

She glanced warily at him, “Am I in trouble?”

“No,” he was proud of himself for not slurring, or, worse, suggesting punishments for if she were in trouble. 

She frowned, asking, “Is there something you needed?”

He sighed. Nothing he really needed. Just something he wanted, desperately. “How do you think we did tonight compared to the last owner?”

She seemed to relax at the mention of work-related matters. “Honestly, tonight went well. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves.” 

“Did you?” he asked, surprised he even wanted to know. 

“Did I what?” She responded, eyes creasing adorably.

He must’ve drank more than he thought. 

“Enjoy yourself,” he clarified, chasing away his internal conflict momentarily. 

“It wasn’t a bad night,” she said, not exactly answering the question. 

“Was it a good one?” 

She smirked, “Believe it or not, it wasn’t always my dream to work here.” 

“What kind of person doesn’t dream of dancing on slippery counters?” he said, offering a charming smile. 

She rolled her eyes, but she smiled back nonetheless. 

Vanya changed the subject suddenly. “Why were you named Five?”  
  


He raised a brow. Usually, he would be annoyed at the question. He got it rather frequently, and he did not care to answer it. Because when he answered, pity was the response he got. 

Five did not like to be pitied. He did not like people trying to pretend he was something misunderstood, someone with rough luck and that explaining why he was such an ass now. 

  
Still, Five found that he wanted to tell Vanya about himself. He didn’t want her pity, but he wanted her to be more than just his employee. 

He must be very, very intoxicated. 

Ignoring his thoughts, he told her, “Essentially, bad parenting.”

She smirked, “You think telling me about your dark past will get me to like you?”

“I was hoping that I’d get you to like me other ways,” the alcohol coaxing the words from his mouth. 

“Good health insurance?” she asked.

He laughed, “I think you knew that wasn’t what I meant.”

For a second, she looked offended, and then her gaze clouded in vague recognition. “Are you that billionaire’s child? The asshole one?”

He wanted another drink. “I wouldn’t exactly call him my father, but, yes, that’s a description I hear frequently about myself.”

She rolled her eyes. “Makes sense why you’d think it was okay to hit on me, then. Well, I’m not interested in that, but I do enjoy vision and dental plans.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” 

She made a face at him. “Stop drinking so much, your breath smells disgusting.”

She sauntered off, leaving him dazed behind her.

***

Five decided he had more hopes of befriending the dancer, Klaus, than either Vanya or Ben. 

Klaus was indeed close with Vanya; they were roommates. He found this out when he was eyeing a bottle of rum and Klaus was rolling a joint beside him.

“You’re roommates?” he asked, liquor momentarily out of his focus. He remembered what Vanya had said about the alcohol and cringed. 

“Yeah,” Klaus said. “We will be until Ben and I are married and move in together.”

“You’re waiting to move in together until you’re married?” Klaus didn’t necessarily seem a very traditional type.

Klaus grinned. “Vanya needs me to make sure she doesn’t get murdered. We live in a horrible part of town.”

“You think you could protect her from that?”

“Obviously Ben would be the protector.”

“Why doesn’t Ben live with you?”

“He practically does,” Klaus‘s gaze was somewhere else, and Five wasn’t sure if it was because Klaus had engaged in other illicit activities or if he just was thinking. “He sleeps over most nights, but he likes having his own place. And Vanya hates it when we keep her up, so it works out. Do you have a crush on me?”

Five frowned at him. Why did everyone just assume that it was Klaus? “You’re not my type.”

Klaus winked, “Don’t like men?”

“I saw you find a pill on the floor earlier, crush it up, and snort it. You’re not exactly a good influence on me.”

“Is Vanya?” Klaus asked. “Oh, don’t look at me that way, you’re very obvious about it. She doesn’t do drugs and she barely drinks, but she’s not going to want to be your replacement for drugs. She wants something real, if she ever wants something, and you’ll never be able to give that.”

Five schooled his features into neutrality. “I don’t want to replace her for drugs. I don’t want to replace drugs.”

“Yeah, that’s clear. What with the whole nightclub buying situation.” Klaus gestured lazily around them. 

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“You don’t want to get better,” Klaus laid his head against the bar. “And stop using me as a therapist, you’re ruining the buzz I’m working on.”

“Does Ben approve of your habits?” Five didn’t know why he asked, maybe he just wanted to see what it would look like to be in a relationship and an addict. Which, clearly, Klaus was. 

Klaus opened his eyes, peering up at him. “Ben doesn’t like it at all, and neither does Vanya. And Vanya has seen me fuck up my life enough that she would definitely not want to be with someone who has already fucked up theirs.”

Something about the way Klaus said it made Five actually regret some of the choices he made. It was blunt, and it was coming from someone who actually struggled. Five could take one look at his therapist and figure out pretty quickly that she did not struggle with addiction ever in her life. 

“Why do you still do them then?” Five felt himself asking, unbidden.

Klaus’s eyes were further away than he had noticed. “If I could stop them just because I loved those two, I already would have.”

***

Five grew to recognize the only bartender that was worth his salt in the club. Diego, while a great bartender, also refused to give him drinks.

“If I pay for it, what is the problem?” Five asked.

“Vanya told me no drinking for you, especially on the job. I’m more loyal to Vanya than you.”

Five blinked. “I’m your boss.”

“Yeah, and Vanya’s my only connection to sex.”

Five frowned at this. “You and Vanya have sex?”

“Of course not,” Diego snorted. “Her roommate.”

“Isn’t he with Ben?”

“Ben can share.”

“Is he aware he’s sharing?” Five wasn’t sure why he was bothering asking these questions, maybe he just cared about his employees not starting drama. Plus, Diego was close to Vanya, which made him infinitely more interesting.

Diego rolled his eyes, wiping the counter. “Ben is participating in the sharing, so yeah.”

Five nodded slowly. “So, you’re not having sex with Vanya?”

“God, no. She swore off all relationships after this asshole she used to date.”

Five filed that away for later. “You’re one of the most liked bartenders here,” he noted aloud.

“I am,” Diego agreed easily. 

“And what does Ben do?”

“Ben is the manager. How do you not know that?”

Five shrugged. Technically, he hadn’t been exactly working on the club. Really, he wasn’t even sure how it ran. “Is he a good manager?”

“I’d say he’s one of the reasons this club hasn’t gone out of business. That and everyone wanting to fuck either Klaus or Vanya. We get a lot of regulars that are still in hopes they’ll get in the dancers’ pants. Vanya and Klaus are our most popular, but a few of them are also draws.”

“Vanya is talented,” Five remembered the ease in which she danced, showing an entirely different personality than the one she showed when she was talking to someone.

“Never gonna happen, bro.”

Five glanced up at him. “I think you’re the first to assume I’m not wanting to get in Klaus’s pants.”

“Please, he is so out of your league.”

Five made a face at him.

“Vanya too, for that matter.”

  
  


***

Five grew to trust Ben’s judgement, noting with pleasure that the business was much more successful than he had expected.

Luther was very upset. 

Apparently, his brother found out. Luther had never cared to pay attention to the gossip that frequently surrounded the two of them, but his wife, Allison, did. Likely she told him.

Allison and Luther sat in front of him now, twin looks of disapproval on their faces. 

“You’re making a mistake,” Allison said.

“I’m not,” Five said, rolling his eyes.

“What if you break sobriety?” Luther asked.

Technically, he already had. But he hadn’t done anything besides drink, so he was fine. Plus, he had barely drank anything the past few weeks because Diego refused to serve him. He didn’t bother going out of his way for it, figuring that would be more desperate somehow. 

“I’ll be fine,” Five insisted.

Luther and Allison shared a glance. 

“Just try to be safe,” Luther finally said. 

He nodded, leaving them shortly after. 

As he was walking away from the humiliation, he ran into Vanya. 

“What are you doing here?” he frowned. He had just been at a place he always got lunch with Allison and Luther, but she was clearly not about to eat.

She pulled earbuds out of her ear, “Jogging. Why are you here?”

“I was getting lunch,” he said. He didn't want to talk about the shaming from his brother and sister-in-law. He figured she’d probably agree with them and jump on the shaming Five party. 

“Oh,” she nodded. “Hey, do you care if I have someone switch shifts with me this weekend?”

He shrugged. “If Ben is fine with it. May I ask why?”

They started walking forward, and he wanted to take her hand but knew she wouldn’t want him to. 

“There’s this, uh, audition coming up soon.”

“Do you want to quit working for me?” He frowned. He hoped he hadn’t made her that uncomfortable, it was a much more unsettling thought than he expected. 

“No,” she said it quickly. “No, it’s not a dancing position. It’s for this orchestra.”

“Orchestra?” 

“Remember how you asked about my dreams? It was a joke, but after I had said I didn’t always want to be a dancer?”

He thought back. The first night was a little foggy, but he knew vaguely what she was referring to. “So you want to be in an orchestra?”

She blushed, “I’m a violinist. It’s always been my dream to play with this particular orchestra at Icarus Theatre. I probably won’t get the position though.”

“You should try though,” he said, not sure why. Vanya was one of the few reasons he even stopped by the club when Diego and the other bartenders refused to serve him anything. He thought back to how Vanya had issued that order, hiding a smile.

  
  



	2. Maybe you can show me how to love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanya doesn’t get the job at Icarus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this will be a fic I update daily in addition to the other stories. It technically should be finished before season 2, but I cannot confirm with the other stories. I had originally intended for this to be a one-shot, but I thought it could be more manageable in chunks instead.

Five frowned at Ben, Klaus, and Diego, somehow all wearing the same expression of anger. 

“I don’t understand why you’re mad,” Five told them, crossing his arms over his chest defensively.

“You don’t  _ understand _ ?” Ben snapped.

“Of course he doesn’t, Ben, he doesn’t understand how much this means to her!” 

“How is  _ encouraging  _ her to try out for Icarus a bad thing? She seemed to really want it!” 

“Yes, and we’re pretty certain she won’t get it,” Ben explained. “The opening is likely going to be filled by someone else.”

“So you just assume Vanya won’t make it?” Five asked, confused.

“It’s not that Vanya isn’t good,” Klaus told him. “It’s that we know her odds are not going to be great this time, and we don’t want to see her hurt about it. Last time she got rejected from the orchestra she moped in her room and listened to ‘Danse Macabre’ on loop for two days straight.”

“She listened to ‘Danse Macabre’ on loop for two days straight?”

“That is  _ not  _ the takeaway you should have. This has not been Vanya’s year, and her getting rejected by the orchestra after all the shit with Leon…” Diego trailed off after pointed looks from Klaus and Ben. 

“She shouldn’t be auditioning,” Diego finally said. “She’s not in the best place right now.”

Five sighed. He could understand that, but he didn’t understand why they were so adamant about her not auditioning. Then again, he knew nothing about her, really. Maybe the competition was too much right now. He thought back to the name Diego had started to say, deducing quickly that it was the asshole she had broken up with recently. He wondered how bad it was exactly, but he wasn’t going to ask them about it.

“I didn’t realize,” Five said. “Is it certain that she won’t get the spot, do you think?”

There was no reason for him to ask, though. Vanya pushed open the doors to the club, going straight to the bar and grabbing a bottle off the shelf. Ben, Diego, and Klaus shot him another look. Five made a face at them, asking Vanya, “Did it not go well?”

As it was a Saturday, and they would have customers within the hour, Vanya turning on “Danse Macabre” and laying against the bar and crying while she drank was likely not good for business.

“Do you want to go somewhere else?” Five asked. “To, uh. Do that?”

She glared at him, “It’s your fault. You should have told me I had to work.”

Five looked to the others for their help, but they seemed to agree with Vanya. “I guess we could close the club tonight?”

Vanya tipped back the vodka, swallowing way too quickly. He quickly grabbed the bottle from her. “You shouldn’t do that, you’ll get sick.”

“I wanna dance tonight,” Vanya told him. “That’s all I’ll ever be good at anyways!”

“Uh, you just drank like four straight shots, I think. You shouldn’t be dancing, you’ll break a bone.”

Vanya tried to grab the bottle back from him, but he held it up high enough that she couldn’t reach it. 

“You already have somebody else on your shift, come on, I’ll take you home,” Five said. “Klaus, can you write down the address for me?”

Klaus nodded, seeming to silently communicate something to Ben and Diego before writing Vanya and his address on a piece of paper. 

“Will you guys be fine while I’m gone?” Five asked.

“We’re pretty certain that the only thing you do here anyways is hit on Vanya,” Ben shrugged. “So, we’ll be fine. However, can you stay with Vanya? She gets emotional when she’s drunk, and we’ll be busy.”

Five nodded, taking the address and helping Vanya walk to his car. She already appeared to be affected by the liquor, and somehow had gotten the bottle back and was gulping it down. He took it out of her hand, handing it off to Ben who had helped him take Vanya to the car. 

He buckled her in, and she started saying something about him having too much money. He glanced up at Ben, “What time do you expect to be home for her?”

Ben thought for a second. “Are you okay with like 2 AM? I could go a little earlier, but Klaus and Diego will be there for sure until then and probably after.”

“That’s fine.” 

Five wasn’t sure why he took on the task of babysitting drunk Vanya, probably because he felt bad that she was upset enough in the first place. Plus, there was something about being sober next to a drunk person that made drinking seem a lot less fun. Vanya crying about the stoplights never getting to live out any of their dreams put the activity of drinking into perspective. He was never really emotional when he drank, save a bad temper, but nonetheless her crying didn’t make him want to reach for a drink. 

Vanya got sleepy as he made his way across town, pausing in her tears as she closed her eyes. He glanced over at her sleeping face, feeling a strange sort of fondness that he wasn’t sure he had ever felt in his life. 

The part of town Vanya lived in, as Klaus had advertised, was not great. It was an area that he regularly heard about on the news, a place close to where highways intersected and a lot of shady business went down because of it. People tended to never want to live there unless they had no other options, and he thought back to Vanya’s decision to dance, how she had insisted he keep their insurance. It had never occurred to him that she danced because she financially had to, and he felt a shocking wave of guilt. It seemed that she was capable of getting him to feel a lot of things he wasn’t used to, even though they had not known each other very long at all. 

He gently shook her awake, and she peered groggily up at him. 

And then she threw up. 

Luckily, it was not on the car, which he had detailed earlier that week. It was, however, on one of his favorite suits, and he groaned. 

“Can you even walk?” he asked her. 

She threw up again, which he took as a no. He gripped her to where he was half-carrying her, checking the apartment number on the slip of paper. Klaus had thankfully given him the key, and he opened the door to the small two-room quickly. 

Once he had settled her against the couch and placed her in a position that she wouldn’t choke and placed a small trash can beside her, he told her. “I’m using your shower and borrowing something I can find from one of the guys, they owe me.”

She started to stand up, “I’ll go with you.”

He frowned at her. “I can find the shower, it’ll be fine.”

“Oh, that’s good, you’re smart,” she told him, laying back down. 

“Thanks,” he told her. “Are you actually that drunk?”

She made a grumpy face. “I don’t drink that much  _ and  _ I’m five foot.”

“That’s fair, but I was more asking because I’m convinced you’re going to get hurt or something.” 

She tried standing up, falling back over. He wondered if he should just find a change of clothes and go back to her, but he ultimately decided to take a (very quick) shower and walked back to the living area, wearing what he assumed were Ben’s clothes. Vanya was sound asleep, so he sat on the chair next to her and checked his phone for any messages.

He had a few minutes of comfortable silence before she woke up and started sobbing, hugging one of the couches pillows.

“Jesus Christ, Vanya, I thought you were out,” Five said. “Do you need something?”

She stopped crying to blink at him. “Do you not know how to handle crying women?”

He snorted, “I don’t surround myself with crying women.”

She seemed to think for a second. “So you  _ are  _ gay.”

“Why does everybody assume that?”

“You’ve got a look of someone in the closet,” she said, gesturing vaguely in his direction. “Is that why you’re so hateful to women?”

He pursed his lips. “I’m not hateful to women.”

Vanya fell dramatically against the pillow she had been crying on. “Every article about you is either that you’re an asshole for the drugs or for your behavior to women. I would much rather you were just an addict than like him.”

He didn’t ask who she was referring to, he was well aware and knew that she wouldn’t have mentioned the asshole sober. “I am not pleasant to be around when I’m on drugs, I’ve been told, but I can assure you that the only reason I have that reputation with women is because I sleep with women and move on. I don’t date, and that annoys people when they’re interested in me.”

She sighed loudly. “That’s what an asshole would say.”

He shrugged. “I’m an asshole, but I’d say everyone I know would agree not in that regard.”

“Yeah, but do the people you sleep with even know you?”

“Yeah, generally. It’s usually people Reginald comes into contact with for business reasons.”

There was a soft noise of discontent from her. “Does he make you have  _ sex  _ with his clients?”

He didn’t answer the question, hoping she would just fall asleep. She did, and he wearily lay his head against the chair. Hopefully she was drunk enough that she wouldn’t remember this conversation. He desperately did not want her to feel sorry for him. Even if he had a shithead that raised him, he did not want her to try to make an explanation of him being an asshole. He just was.

Maybe Ben, Klaus, and Diego were all right. He shouldn’t want anything to do with her. He wished she had gotten that spot with Icarus, that way she could be happy but away from him. 

He started drifting as he was thinking, but he woke up as Ben opened the door and Klaus ran in. 

“Oh, thank  _ God, _ ” Klaus sighed, panting. “We were convinced you had left because the lights were off. Were you asleep? Did you get drunk too? Who gave you alcohol?”

“I’m not drunk,” Five said, placing his hands in front of himself defensively. “I fell asleep because you guys took forever to get here.”

Ben glared at him. “We were making you money, and also Klaus wanted frozen yogurt after his shift because we had a rough night.”

Klaus held up a cup of frozen yogurt, proving Ben’s point. Five rolled his eyes at them. 

“Is Vanya okay?” Klaus asked, glancing over at Vanya. 

“Are you wearing my clothes?” Ben said, getting a better look at him. 

He shrugged, “She’s fine, but she threw up all over me and I had to change clothes.”

Klaus and Ben exchanged a glance. “We promised to keep her away from vodka, Ben.”

“You two act like you’re her dads,” Five noted, just now realizing all of their dynamics.

“Somebody has to,” Ben grumbled. “Also, you’re excused by the way. Good job at keeping her alive!”

Five frowned as they shooed him away, Klaus trying to offer Vanya bites of frozen yogurt in the background.

***

When Five went to the club the next day, Diego commented at the bar, “You haven’t been checking out your other businesses that much, it seems.”

Five didn’t reply, mainly because he was absolutely right and he didn’t like it. 

Diego seemed to realize he wouldn’t, so he kept wiping down the bar meticulously. Five rested his head against the cool of the bar that Diego had just wiped down, and Diego looked like he wanted to smack him. 

“Why do you seem upset?” Diego asked finally. “I’m not letting you drink, but you can talk to me.”

Five groaned, “I’m not telling you about my feelings, Diego. Especially if you won’t let me drink.”

“Everyone else does,” Diego commented. “You upset about a certain dancer, bud?”

Five made sure to sit up enough that he would see his glare. 

“I’m just saying, it’s very clear. She doesn’t start her shift for a little bit anyways, I’m only here because I make sure this place is spotless.”

“And because you have nothing better to do,” Five deduced.

“That too,” Diego agreed. 

Vanya surprised them both by coming in early. When she spotted Five, she said, “Oh, thank God, you’re here.”

“What is it?” Five asked, aware that Diego was eyeing them. 

“I just want to say… ah. Thank you,” Vanya told Five. “It was nice of you to drive me home, especially with your egregiously expensive car in that part of town.”

“That felt like you were trying to insult me somehow.”

“It’s become a habit, I guess, and you love it.”

Five didn’t reply, mainly because she was right and he absolutely didn’t like it.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! There should be a new update by tomorrow.


	3. You can turn me on with just a touch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanya and Five grow closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kudos and positive comments! I’m sorry this chapter took longer than expected, though. I was actually not planning on writing today or tomorrow but I decided to write anyways.

Vanya was dancing to the same song as the first night, and she smirked over at him as it came on the speakers. 

He groaned, asking Ben why this song had to play so often. 

“You are aware it’s a popular song right now?” Ben asked, but he had a knowing look across his features. Five was entirely certain that Ben knew why he was upset about it. 

Vanya and Five’s relationship changed over the months after the night that he took her home. Vanya, who had already been absolutely comfortable making quips about Five being a jerk, started to feel comfortable talking to him about her feelings on other people as well. He found out at one point about her drama with one of the dancers, which he had told her, smiling, he shouldn’t be put in the middle of. She had jabbed him with her elbow, telling him that he should be so lucky, leaving him sputtering behind her. 

She talked about her worries for Klaus, how she knew Ben worried too but was always supportive. She admitted at one point that her and Klaus had been in a foster home together at one point, and he had opened his mouth, not sure if he was allowed to ask. She then explained that her mother passed away when she was young, Vanya never knowing who her father was. Neither she nor Klaus ever said why he was in foster care though, and he didn’t ask because it seemed clear that he was not supposed to. 

Vanya never spoke about the one thing he did know about her though, the asshole ex. He knew that there was a possibility she remembered mentioning the guy when she had gotten drunk, but she never once brought it up. It was something that bothered him, that she would talk about many of her problems except for one that clearly bothered her at this moment.

Klaus joined Vanya on the stage, and his unsettled feelings drifted away. When Vanya or Klaus danced alone, he was aware that they both were a draw to customers. Vanya and Klaus drew eyes of every gender when they danced alone, but when they were together, it was clear they had the best time. Klaus would make a move that would make Vanya burst out into laughter, and the flash of her teeth against that cherry red lipstick did something much more for him than any dancing she did with a serious face. 

Ben clearly enjoyed watching them too, a soft smile directed to his boyfriend. 

Five was suddenly struck with a question that spilled out of his lips before he could stop it. “Do you ever worry about him? Working here?”

Ben turned around, and whatever he saw in Five’s gaze made his eyes soften into understanding. “He’s been sober a month, you know.”

“Klaus?” Five asked, glancing over at the male dancer. He hadn’t even appeared to show any signs of withdrawal, but then Five might not have noticed if he had. 

“I know a month isn’t necessarily like a huge accomplishment…” Ben started, gaze far away. 

“It is, though,” Five told him. “You should be proud of him.”

“How long for you?” Ben asked, a cautious edge to his voice. 

Five felt a wave of discomfort. He had multiple vices, could switch between them as he pleased. Somehow, he imagined Ben would not be happy to hear he had replaced drinking with sex. 

“It depends on what you count as sobriety,” Five finally said. 

“You’re having sex as a replacement, are you?” Ben said, and Five frowned at him.

Ben shrugged. “Listen, I can figure pretty easily your line of thinking, but… don’t tell Vanya.”

“And why would Vanya care?” Five asked cautiously, though he was well-aware why she would. Even though he very much would like to sleep with Vanya, he could see the blush pooling against her cheeks when he looked too long at her. Hers was an innocent crush, and he didn’t begrudge her for it at all. There was a surprising softness to her, one that the confidence when she danced never showed. 

Five  _ did  _ care for her on a higher level than just sex, but the problem was that he didn’t want her to be just another replacement. He had not ever expected to feel that strongly about anyone, to respect them that way. 

“You know how she feels,” Ben said. “And it would upset her, even if she would not show it at all.”

Five knew that, and he made a point never to speak of any of those activities in front of her. Even if he could try to tell her that what he was doing meant nothing, it would still upset her. 

It’s not like they were dating though. He didn’t have to feel guilty for it.

After a few songs, Vanya walked over to him, an annoyed expression on her face. 

“What?” Five asked, wondering if she somehow had heard the conversation he had with Ben. She wouldn’t have heard it over the music, but he felt himself worry nonetheless. 

“I’m taking a break,” she told him, pulling him along with her. He wondered if people thought they were a couple. 

They got outside of the club, and the night breeze hit his skin comfortingly. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked, frowning when she sunk to the ground and rested her head against the wall of the small alley they were hiding in. He moved to sit beside her, though not close enough that they touched.

“Some asshole customer,” she said, rolling her eyes. “He tried to grab at my ass.”

He whipped his head in her direction. “He did what now?”

She shrugged, “It happens. I just don’t want to deal with that right now.”

Five was still reeling. “What did he look like?”

She pursed her lips. “No need to beat his ass, this isn’t the first time this happened.”

“How often does it happen?” Five tried to think of any moment she had complained of this, but he couldn’t.

She was quiet a second, and Five let her sit in silence. Finally, she explained, “I used to work for a much seedier place. Now, there’s the general rich assholes that think they’re entitled to me, but they were at the last club too. The problem was that I didn’t have anybody I knew working there and the staff basically did nothing about it.”

“Oh,” Five breathed. “I’m sorry that happened. Should I get better security here?” 

Vanya shook her head. “It’s rare it happens here. I probably shouldn’t have said anything.”

“No, you should always say something when that happens,” Five told her. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

“As much as I’d like to see what landed you in jail until you got bailed out, I feel like your family might leave you there this time.” Her face held a slight smile, and he was distracted from it for a few seconds before her words hit.

“You know about that?” he blurted.

She grinned, “It’s kind of nice knowing that you can throw a punch if necessary. Of course, you seemed pretty coked out during that time, so maybe not sober.”

He frowned. He had been. He wondered why he wasn’t now, why he didn’t really even have the urge. It was not that she did anything to make it go away, and he was technically replacing the addiction. Still, what he replaced it with was a little less likely to kill him. Maybe he should thank her for that. 

“Five?” 

He met her gaze, heart stuttering in a completely unfamiliar way that he undoubtedly still understood. “Yes?”

Her face was so close to his, her body heat offering just a little warmth. The sweetness of her breath hit him as she asked, “Can we get out of here?”

Five wanted to tell her that they couldn’t do what they both wanted, but he couldn’t bring himself to do so. Instead, he asked what they would even do.

“I really want a donut,” she said, lips quirking softly. “And coffee.”

Okay, apparently he just wanted what they could not do.

“There’s a place near your apartments,” he replied. “Let’s go.”

He grabbed her hand, and Vanya beamed at him. She texted Ben presumably while they went to Five’s car. 

When they were on the highway, Five kept fighting the urge to look over at her. He wondered if she was fighting the same urge. She had had a rough night though, he wasn’t going to ask her. 

They were silent for the car ride. While he felt like he would be more comfortable talking to her, he also let her drift through her thoughts. It was definitely not an uncomfortable silence, but he would like to hear her speak right now. 

When they reached the dingey donut shop, he parked his car outside. They walked inside, close enough that they bumped into each other multiple times. 

Vanya found a place at the bar, immediately searching over the choices. She ended up just ordering a bunch of different flavors, saying she had no idea which ones were good there. He smiled, ordering a black coffee for himself and paying. 

“How can you handle black coffee?” Vanya asked him when they each had coffee placed in front of them by a mousy, older waitress. She was pouring a generous amount of hazelnut creamer packets inside of hers. 

“Too much sugary stuff makes me sick,” he said, frowning as her coffee looked unsettlingly white.

“You did cocaine, I don’t want to hear it,” Vanya said, sipping her coffee to hide the smirk.

“I guess that’s fair,” he allowed. Vanya couldn’t hide her smile then, and she started giggling. 

“You’re horrible,” he told her.

The waitress gave them a little smile as she handed a plate filled with donuts. Vanya immediately grabbed a strawberry sprinkle before making a face as she bit into it. She searched around before she found what appeared to be a chocolate filled and started eating that instead.

“You know how you told me that first night about how you didn’t consider Reginald Hargreeves a father?” she asked, the powder against her lips, effectively distracting him. 

He nodded, both wanting to lick the powder off her lips and for her to not continue asking about Reginald. 

“Did you start drinking and doing drugs to piss him off? Or was it more like you wanted an escape from him?”

He frowned at her. “I drank and did drugs because it was fun.”

Her face pulled into tight disappointment, knowing he was lying. He cleared his throat, adding, “It wasn’t an escape, really. The first time I drank, it was just a fun thing to do as a teenager. When he was particularly an asshole, I drank more though. I know alcohol is a depressant, but it numbed me at the time.”

She wiped her face with a napkin, and the powder against her lips was gone. “Do you think you’ll stay sober? I know it’s hard for a lot of people, but I mean… you’ve managed for a bit, right?”

He didn’t mention that he replaced the drugs and alcohol with something else, just saying, “I don’t know, Vanya. If I break sobriety again, though, that’s normal. I can say that I hope I do not.”

She gently patted his hand, picking up a blueberry donut and turning it over in her hands. “I hope you don’t either, Five.”

He gave her a tight smile, wishing she’d hold his hand. It was such an unfamiliar ache he felt. Why did she make him feel this way when no one else had?

“Vanya?” he asked, voice just a breath. 

She nodded, eyes asking a question as she picked a blueberry from the donut. It was endearing, and he asked, wanting to ask something else but afraid, “Why did you get a blueberry donut if you clearly don’t like blueberries?”

Her face looked confused for a second before she saw what she was doing. Her ears turned red, and she explained, “Klaus really likes them, I tend to pick them out before I even think of it.”

He didn’t understand why Klaus didn’t just order them himself when they got them, nor did he particularly care. “It’s nice that you have him,” he said. He made a mental note to call Luther. 

“I’m glad for him. I love Ben too, he and I are much more alike than Klaus and I. Klaus and I would likely have never even spoken to one another if it hadn’t been for being in the same home for a time.”

Five nodded, grateful that she would share such intimate details about her life. It bothered him that she could tell him so much though, and he still didn’t even know the name of the ex that had hurt her so much.

“Reginald adopted you,” Vanya mentioned suddenly. He raised a brow, nodding. 

“Do you think?” she paused. “Obviously, I’ve gathered he is an ass, but do you think it would have been better if nobody had adopted you and you were just in the system?”

Five had never explained much of his life to anyone. He knew that Allison knew, but that was because of Luther. He decided it wouldn’t be the end of the world if Vanya knew. “Well, I don’t know if you know this, but Luther is my fraternal twin. We were adopted pretty soon after we were born, and I get the idea that Reginald wanted us on a whim and just kind of… bought us.” 

She looked understandably confused. “He bought you? Isn’t that like…?”

“Illegal?” he offered, and she nodded. “Luther and I’s birth mother signed papers saying that he could take us. The money was under the table. I’m sure if the public knew though, his PR team could spin it pretty easily.”

Vanya frowned. “I feel like I’m beginning to understand your reputation for being an asshole.”

“My reputation?” he asked. “Not just that I’m an asshole, that it’s a reputation?”

“No,” she laughed. “You’re definitely an asshole, but you’re likable, to a degree. And you bought me donuts, which is helping my fondness.”

He drank his coffee so he could hide his smile, but he knew she probably saw the flash of it anyways. 

“I don’t think it excuses your behavior,” she told him. “When you’re an asshole, I mean. But I can appreciate what made you this way. Plus, you seem to be better the more you sober up. Pretty soon, you’re gonna have a reputation for being a big softie.”

“I sincerely doubt that,” Five told her. “But I appreciate that you think I could.”

She grabbed a boston cream, gnawing off a huge bite. 

“How are you taking those down and not getting sick?” Five mused, and she elbowed him. 

“I’m hungry! Dancing makes you hungry.”

“It makes you hungry?” he laughed.

She shrugged, “It’s exercise. I tend to not ever have a huge appetite, but sometimes after work I am starving. Plus, there’s something about knowing that assholes like that guy tonight would be grossed out by seeing me eat this much that makes the act somewhat thrilling.”

“I’m sorry about that,” he said again. “And I’m… I’m sorry that I was an asshole too.”

She shook her head, “You haven’t even tried to grab my ass at this point, your softie reputation precedes you.”

He snorted. “You have seriously low standards on what makes someone a good person.”

Her face grew serious, and he knew where the conversation was about to turn. Somehow, he wished it wouldn’t, despite having wished she would have told him before.

“His name was Leonard,” she said. “I know you’ve wondered, know that you know about him. He was awful. I was genuinely afraid. I had lived with him, even, for a point. Klaus and I got that shitty apartment because even though Leonard had a nice place, I would have taken literally anything else. I kind of assumed you’d be like him at one point.”

“Why?” he breathed. He didn’t want her to think of them that way, could not handle the thought. 

Her brows pulled together. “You had a reputation, and I trusted it. You can be an ass, but I now know you wouldn’t be like Leonard. I don’t think you would at least.”

“I wouldn’t,” he promised. “But you’re right. I’m an ass, and you shouldn’t think anything else.”

“I don’t,” she said, but then she kissed him. 

His heart stopped, he was certain. She tasted like too sweet coffee and powdered sugar. Maybe his heart didn’t stop, maybe it was just pounding. 

She pulled away, and he must have been making a pretty interesting face because she laughed at it. “You’re welcome to close your mouth, I’m not that great of a kisser.”

He cleared his throat, trying to think of something to say but couldn’t. He opened his mouth again after abruptly closing it at her comment, but he couldn’t find words.

“Thank you for tonight, Five,” she said before continuing to eat donuts and completely ignoring the fact that Five was having some sort of crisis beside her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I’ll try to update as soon as possible, but it may take a little bit longer than usual like this one did.


	4. Sin city’s cold and empty, no one’s around to judge me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five suspects Vanya is avoiding him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so, so sorry I have taken so long to post this chapter. I watched season 2, and it inspired a bunch of other fics. Hopefully this is good enough y’all will forgive me 🙏🏻Also, this chapter technically has a sex scene, but it’s not Fiveya.

Vanya wasn’t at work. Five tried to picture every possible reason she wouldn’t be, but his mind kept flashing to the glaringly obvious reason. 

He needed a drink. Or more than a drink. 

Ben flashed him a concerned look as he passed by him, and Five dashed over to him. “Ben, can I speak to you?”

Ben looked wary, probably caught between Vanya or his job. Five sighed; it was wrong of him to ask that. His therapist would probably have something to say about this. 

“Never mind,” Five muttered. “I’m going to head out.”

Ben nodded, letting Five leave in peace. Five’s mind kept flashing to Vanya. 

Finally, he couldn’t take it any longer, texting her a quick “hey” and trying not to cringe at how pathetic he was. 

When she hadn’t replied for eight minutes, he allowed himself to stare at his phone like a dejected puppy for all of thirty seconds before shoving it into his pocket. 

He quickly backed out of his parking space by the club, staring distastefully at a couple making out outside of it. It was about 10 PM, which he felt was a terrible time to have alley sex.

He found himself driving to Luther and Allison’s house, not trying to think anything of it. Their house was not as huge as the mansion Luther and Five had grown up in, but it was a relatively sizable place. It had strong security too, people were obsessed with Allison, who had met Luther when she was still getting roles on Disney at 16. She had now graduated to “serious” acting at her current age, but Five was aware she likely had another contract for “Love on Loan” that she’d inevitably take. 

When Five reached their home, the security guard frowned at him. 

“Mr. Hargreeves, it is a little late,” he commented. Five knew he should know the guys’ name, but he was drawing a blank. 

“I didn’t do any lines beforehand, I was careful of that. See, not a nosebleed in sight!” Five tipped his head back like the guard would be able to see that. 

The guard’s face was carefully nonchalant. “You are welcome to go inside, but please do not do anything that will kick you off Mr. and Mrs. Hargreeves’ list of welcome guests.”

Five rolled his eyes. Luther wouldn’t do that to him; he had a soft spot for his trainwreck of a twin. 

Five drove forward until he parked his car and walked up to the house. 

Luther was already walking out, concerned-mother-hen expression against his features. 

“Five! Are you okay? Do you need me to call your therapist? Can I at this time? Oh, God, are you high?”

“I’m not high,” Five growled.

“Oh, thank God.” Luther hugged him, and Five wanted to squirm away but couldn’t because his brother was one of those guys that spent entirely too much time at the free weights section of the gym. 

“Where’s Allison?” Five asked when Luther finally untangled from him. 

“She’s asleep!”

“It’s 10 PM, Luther.”

“Yeah, when functioning adults go to bed.”

Five rolled his eyes, following Luther inside. He went to Luther’s pantry in the kitchen, grabbing marshmallows, peanut butter, and bread as he did. Luther and Allison always had anything Five needed or wanted at their house (save for the alcohol, drugs, and women that is). He figured it was kind of like when parents tried whatever they could to get their kid to stay home and not ruin their life. He wondered if they’d pay attention to him as much when they had actual kids to worry about with a wry grin.

“You haven’t visited much recently,” Luther commented. He was making a pot of coffee as he tried to talk with him. 

“It’s nothing personal, Luther, I’ve just been busy.” 

“Are you seeing someone?” Luther asked him, peeking over at him.

“Yeah, I’ve been seeing the therapist you recommended,” Five was confused. Did Luther assume that he would just stop going?

“No,” Luther corrected himself. “Romantically. Are you seeing someone romantically?”

Unbidden, Vanya’s face popped into his mind, but he shook himself away from the thought. She clearly wanted nothing to do with him, and he would have to respect that now. He wasn’t going to disregard her feelings, even though he would have a year ago easily. He liked to think he was at least a little different now. Maybe he had thought about changing before he even met Vanya, he just didn’t want to admit that to himself. If he told himself that she was the only reason he wanted to get better, it would be easier to not ever want to get better. 

“Five?” Luther prompted, and Five snapped out of his thoughts. 

“No,” Five told him. “I’m not seeing anyone.”

Luther nodded, seeming to think a second. “Do you want to be seeing someone though?” 

“I’m not sure,” Five never really considered what it would mean if he did get together with Vanya. Addicts aren’t supposed to start relationships during recoveries, he’s heard it a thousand times. 

“You like someone,” Luther grinned. 

Five put his face in his hands, hoping his brother would disappear. “No, I don’t. I hate everyone.”

“What’s her name?” Luther asked, then thought. “Or his? Wait! What is  _ their  _ name?”

Five frowned at Luther, but he kept staring with that puppy dog expression of excitement. 

Five sighed loudly, “Vanya. Her name is Vanya.”

“Vanya,” Luther tried the word out, reaching over to pour himself and Five a cup of coffee. “When will I meet  _ Vanya _ ?”

Five’s jaw clenched. “Never. You will never meet her.”

“Oh, so you  _ really  _ like her. It’s not some sort of thing for Dad, then?”

Five didn’t acknowledge that statement. Vanya was obviously not that. If she never met his father, he’d die happy. It wasn’t a secret that Five had sealed a few deals by less than savory ways, and Five wondered if it disgusted Luther as much as it disgusted himself.

Fuck, he wanted a drink. 

“Luther, I gotta go,” Five said.

“No, stay!” Luther pleaded. “You can go to the guest room and it’ll be okay!”

Five sighed harshly. “I can’t, Luther.”

“We don’t have to talk about Vanya,” Luther promised.

“It’s not Vanya,” Five told him. “I just… I want to be alone right now.”

Luther grabbed his shoulder, staring down at him. “Please, Five, promise me you won’t break sobriety. Please. I know you’ve done better because you call me a lot of times when you’re drunk, and you haven’t called in a while. Just, whatever you do, don’t break sobriety again.”

Five didn’t argue with him. There was no reason to, and Five could clearly see the pain in his twin’s eyes. “I promise,” he said. He didn’t know if it was a lie yet.

***

Whether or not Five broke sobriety is up to the definition of sobriety. Five had multiple vices. Technically, in terms of any and all addictions, Five had never been clean.

Five had found himself at a bar, staring at the sea of choices. _Water, water everywhere, nor any drop to drink._

He wouldn’t drink. He wouldn’t. He would just look at the bottles and remind himself that even if his life was shitty, at least he wasn’t getting drunk. He just had to look at the bottles of alcohol.

“You gonna order anything?” 

He glanced over. It hadn’t been the bartender but rather a patron. 

If Five had been very drunk, he could have mistaken her for Vanya. He couldn’t drink right now, so he’d just have to pretend. She bore some resemblance- long, glossy brown hair and wide dark eyes. She was small, on the side of just a little too thin. Her eyes held no judgement in them though, which Five found strangely unsettling. Vanya would be teasing him for whatever reason she could find. 

He couldn’t drink though or have Vanya. She would have to do.

“I’m not looking for a drink,” he said gruffly. 

Her lips curled into a smile, and he found himself wishing the smile was more sarcastic than seductive. 

This would have to work for now. He couldn’t have what he really wanted, so he would have this. 

They left the bar together, him tossing money to the bartender to pay the woman’s bill. She had only ordered a single drink, but he felt generous to the bartender for not letting him slip up. Or at least not slip up in that regard. 

He opened his car door. He wasn’t going to take her back to his place, didn’t want to wake up in sheets that smelled like his betrayal. 

Was it a betrayal? If he and Vanya weren’t really together, was this still wrong?

He pushed the seat back in the front and she climbed onto his lap. He moved her to where she wasn’t facing him, so that he was just seeing the brunette hair as he unzipped his pants and lifted up her dress. 

It was quick, messy, and to the point. She asked if he wanted to go back to her place and spend the night, and he curtly told her no.

His phone chimed then, at three in the morning. 

Five sighed. Whoever needed to talk could wait. But then it buzzed again, and he pulled it out of his pocket. Two texts from Vanya. 

“ _ Hey, I’m really sorry I didn’t give you notification earlier, something came up.” _

_ “Five, I really need you right now, and I know you’re probably not awake. If you are, please come over. If not, don’t worry, I’ll get Klaus or something!” _

His phone buzzed again.

_ “Sorry, that probably sounded way more intense than it needed to be! I’ll just get Klaus, no big deal! Sorry, I know you probably won’t even see this for a bit anyways.”  _

He set his head against the steering wheel. Fuck. He should go to her, but he can’t stand the thought of seeing her after doing that. Maybe it was wrong then, if he felt this hung up about it. Surely, it was wrong. He should go to her and beg for forgiveness.

He wouldn’t deserve it anyways. 

He drove back to his place. 

At least he didn’t drink. 

***

Five woke up to the sun beating down unforgivably against him. He was sober, technically. 

Didn’t mean he still wasn’t an asshole. 

Vanya tried to text him again, but he turned off his phone before he saw the text. He didn’t want to see her, didn’t want her to tell him that he was unworthy of forgiveness. Not only had he slept with someone else after she had kissed him, he had then ignored her when she needed help. He was an asshole, and he didn’t deserve her, so he’d ignore her and pretend that it was the right thing to do.

The thing about being an asshole is that he could easily tell himself something was right when it was wrong. He could play devil’s advocate for himself where he was the devil. 

Five didn’t look in on any of his businesses. He instead tried to satisfy his need to do something by reading and then by drinking an entire pot of coffee and then by outlining different ideas for future ventures in business. 

He wondered if he could try to frame what he was doing any other way than some sort of depression. 

He probably couldn’t, which sucked. 

It was as he had considered going to the liquor store that he heard a knocking on his door. 

He scowled, walking to the door. 

“I don’t want to join your religion,” he snapped, already stepping away. 

“Five, open the door right this instant.”

“Oh, Jesus Christ, Allison!”

Five unlocked the door though because Allison was scary when she was mad. He imagined a kid growing up in Hollywood usually ended in said kid becoming an unstable adult, and he didn’t want himself to be the beginning of the sad documentary about the desperate-Hollywood-has-been Allison Hargreeves (or so she was called when she married the man with a brother she murdered.) 

“What do you want?” he asked. 

“Luther’s worried about you. He called you. Multiple times.”

“How many times?” Five asked, laying down leisurely on his couch. “Did he reach over a hundred? That would be pretty typical, right?”

“Five, did you break sobriety?”

“Obviously not, or I’d be more likable.”

“You’re an ass when you’re high.”

“I’m an ass normally.”

Allison moved his legs harshly to the side. “Why are you not answering your phone?”

_ Because I cheated on someone I’m not technically in a relationship with and then ignored when she asked for my help,  _ he thought. 

“Because I don’t want to talk to anyone right now,” he said.

“I don’t care what you want. You tell people when you’re okay, or else they worry you’re in a ditch somewhere.”

“I’m not going to die from drinking.”

“You’ve drunk and drove, haven’t you? Gotten high and tried to start fights too?”

“Yeah, a _few_ times.”

“Any amount of time is too much, Five. You can’t ignore Luther, he’s your family.”

Five stared blankly above him. 

“Why are you acting like this?” 

Five glanced over. She had spoken in a much gentler tone. “Stop trying to be my mother because you and Luther can’t have kids.”

He knew it was a low blow. They had been trying for some time now, but it was meant to make her want to leave. 

It had the desired effect as he expected it would. 

Five leaned back against the couch again, trying to close his eyes. His heart was beating way too fast from coffee consumption, which made him wonder how long he had been sober if his heart was in overdrive from a pot of coffee. Maybe it was just stress. Maybe he could be one of those people who takes unprescribed Xanax to handle their problems. 

He was capable of not thinking about Vanya for maybe thirty minutes. But his mind flashed to Luther then, how he probably had called him twenty or more times. He tried turning his phone back on, but it was dead. He put it on the charger, waiting impatiently for it to turn back on.

He was starting to consider getting another cup of coffee when the phone’s screen flicked on. He waited for it to fully load to the home screen before typing in his password quickly. 

He had five texts from Vanya. The first three were from last night.

The fourth was the one he had ignored this morning, “ _ Don’t worry, got the issue resolved, I think. Didn’t mean to startle you if I did. It was no big deal. I’m good.”  _

The fifth was from an hour ago. “ _ I’m really sorry for making things weird between us. I hope you’re not mad at me, but I understand it if you are. We can move on from it and pretend it never happened, or I could start working somewhere else even if it made you that uncomfortable. Trust me, it was nothing. I was probably just feeling a little vulnerable and stupid, you know? Anyways, don’t worry about it. I won’t mention it again, but tell me if you want me to move jobs though. Again, sorry.”  _

He dropped his phone. He should have  _ known _ that was why she did it. Of course it had nothing to do with them, he was such an idiot. Vanya had been upset and wanted to get out of there, and she had kissed him because she was upset. He was such an  _ ass.  _ Why would he have not even considered that possibility?

He quickly tapped out a response.

“ _ Don’t worry about it. If you don’t want to work for me, you’re welcome to move somewhere else and I can write a recommendation for you. If you’re still comfortable with it though, you’re one of the best employees there.”  _

He laid his head back down. Maybe he could just sleep for the rest of the day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading! I’ll try to be faster with the next update, but I’m not going to promise anything again 👀


	5. Can’t see clearly when you’re gone

Vanya didn’t need any of her friends to be concerned about her. She was fine. Diego kept reminding her that it was okay to be scared when Leonard had decided to make a reappearance at her apartment the other night, violating the restraining order. He had yelled at her to open the door, and the rattling of his fists against it reverberated through her thoughts many times in the weeks to follow. 

Leonard had eventually given up on pounding at the door around 2AM before Ben and Klaus had come home still, and she was so disturbed by his presence that she had texted Five without even thinking about it. He was an oddly comforting presence, and he would have been really helpful to have near. She wouldn’t have asked to go to his apartment, but maybe he’d be okay staying at hers for a bit until Ben and Klaus came home. Unfortunately, he hadn’t texted back.

Ben kept trying to get her to talk about it. He was one of those people that thought talking about problems helped them. What’s the word for it again? Emotionally mature? She’s not certain, but that sounds right. 

Klaus, not one to talk about his feelings as much but one who believed in many methods of catharsis, kept trying to get her to join him for some sort of adventure. She would agree to it if she wasn’t certain he’d immediately break sobriety when she did. 

Diego was trying to handle this by doing the “anything you need” method, meaning much of the time just helping her out when she didn’t ask for it. He walked her to her car after work, made her promise to call him or Ben when she got home. 

Five was also present, but she had sworn the guys to secrecy. He was not going to hear about Leonard; she imagined she’d be an amalgamation of all of the guys’ worst traits as far as wanting to comfort her, and she wouldn’t deny herself asking for his comfort like she could with the others. 

Five probably just assumed she was upset about the kissing thing, which she allowed him to think. He basically had said that he didn’t want a relationship anyways, and she told herself that was fine. Yes, there was a brief period where she thought maybe they would get together, but that period had passed. They’d moved on and it was fine. Well, technically they hadn’t moved on because they were never together. Which she was completely okay with because it just made sense with him being her boss and them already having complicated situations going on anyways. 

She realized that as she was dancing to “Blinding Lights” again (something that she had gotten sick of at the twelfth or so time) that she must’ve not been super attractive to the customers as she internally monologues about her life. She glanced through the crowd before her gaze landed on somebody very eerily familiar. 

She’s going to throw up. She stops dancing entirely, and Klaus shoots her a concerned glance. Scratch that, she’s not going to throw up, she’s going to pass out. Leonard had a restraining order. There’s no way he could be there. 

He _was_ there though. 

She drops to her knees on the stage, panic attack coming over her. Someone shouts a rude comment to her, and then she’s being pulled slowly from the stage as the noise arounds her becomes too much and tears are splashing against the counters. She doesn’t let herself move though, sobbing and trying to curl into herself.

Why was Leonard here? Why couldn’t she have anything good in her life?

“Vanya,” Five is saying in her ear, a tinge of concern in her voice. 

“I need to get out of here,” she manages to whimper, trembling against his arms. They were causing a scene for the rest of the club, and she could feel everyone staring at them. Five was famous enough that his scandals were reported on, and Vanya worried that someone would take pictures of her breaking down at his new-ish night club. 

“Okay,” Five says soothingly. “You just gotta get off the stage first, and then we’ll go.”

She starts to stand, but the heels don’t want to cooperate with her anxious mind. She is pretty certain she would have slipped on her ass if Five hadn’t made a split second decision to just carry her. 

She didn’t make any comment about his “chivalry” or anything else, and she was pretty certain that if Five were as much of an asshole as he was reported to be, he would comment on how her snot probably ruined the Armani suit he was wearing. As it was, he didn’t comment at all, neither of them even commenting on the fact that he was carrying her in the first place. 

When they had exited the club, she tapped his shoulder and got out of his arms before she walked with him to his car. She slipped off the heels that hurt so bad when she was dancing, resting her head against the window of the passenger seat of his car. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked her quietly. 

“Leonard was in there.” 

Five’s gaze snapped to the club, looking like he was about to jump out. She grabbed his arm. “Please, just let it go. I just want to get away from here.”

She wondered if Five wouldn’t listen, but he did after a few beats. 

“Can you text Ben for me?” he asked once he had pulled out of his parking space and started driving in the direction of her apartment. 

“What do you want me to stay?” 

“That he needs to tell the security to get him out of there and make sure he doesn’t come back,” Five said. “Do you need help getting a restraining order against him? I could hire a lawyer-“

“I already have one,” she mumbled. His hand clenched against the wheel, but he didn’t say anything. 

“Are you mad at me?” 

“Why would I be mad at you?” He seemed genuinely confused. “Have I seemed distant lately?”

“Uh, no.” He hadn’t. Sure, he had seemed a little different as far as being flirty, but she just assumed that was his way of saying that their relationship was now purely a professional one. Whether or not bosses usually give people rides home when they were having an emotional crisis was entirely up for debate, but she thought he was just being a friend. Okay, yeah, bosses aren’t usually people’s friends. Whatever. 

“Why did you think I was mad then?” He made another turn.

“I was just worried since I kind of broke down in the middle of your club…” She cringed at herself. 

He snorted, “It’s fine, don’t worry about it.”

“Are you not worried about what the customers thought?” 

He flicked his eyes from the road. “Vanya, I don’t really care, it’s fine. I’m much more concerned that Leonard was inside of the club. Especially with a restraining order. Has he bothered you before today?”

Vanya didn’t know why she told him, but she was pretty certain that it had something to do with already being out of her mind tonight. “That night I texted you and asked you to come over? He had come by and Klaus and Ben hadn’t come home.” 

Five’s face turned ashen. “Vanya, always tell me when something like that happens.”

“You don’t have to be so upset, it’s really fine, Five,” she told him. “Klaus and Ben got home, and I was fine.”

He nodded tersely. 

“Why do you look so upset?” Vanya asked him. “You know it’s not your fault, right? You can’t help what Leonard does.”

“No,” he said, shaking his head. “But I should have been there for you.”

He stopped at her apartment complex, parking by the lobby. “Would you feel better if I walked you up or not?”

“Uh, you can walk with me, yeah,” she nodded quickly. She would have invited him inside a few weeks ago, but she didn’t know if that was something she could do now. They were friends, she knew, but she didn’t know if friends invited each other inside when they went home. 

When she got to her floor, sticking the key in the lock, Five stiffly waved. “Have a good night, Vanya.”

“Five,” Vanya said when he started walking back to his car. 

“Yeah?” 

She glanced at his lips before quickly fastening her gaze on his eyes. “Thank you.”

“No problem.”

She couldn’t bear to see him go, but she didn’t know what she was supposed to be doing there. Before she could second guess herself, she hugged him quickly. 

Five made a startled noise, slowly returning the hug. 

“I’m really glad to have you as a friend,” she said against his chest, wondering if her voice was too muffled for him to hear. 

He cleared his throat. “I’m glad you’re my friend too, Vanya.”

They pulled away, and she wanted so badly to ask him to stay. She couldn’t though. She didn’t think it was what she was supposed to say here. 

Plus, there was the matter that neither of them should be involved right now. Five was still going through recovery, and Vanya was still struggling with her fear of Leonard (though she hadn’t really had much stress about it for a while until he had broken the restraining order). 

Still. 

“Do you think you can stay?” she blurted. 

The conflict was clear against his features. She didn’t know why he was conflicted, but she knew that a part of him wanted to go inside with her. 

“Please,” she added. 

“I think that’s a bad idea,” he said finally, biting his lip. “I think you’re probably feeling really vulnerable right now, and it feels wrong for me to do that.”

It wasn’t that. She always wanted to spend more time with him, but she couldn’t say that. She had been the one to suggest that the reason she kissed him was because she felt vulnerable. Yes, it had been a desperate attempt at getting him to speak to her when she was pretty certain he had been trying to ignore her, but she still had let him think that. 

“Yeah, you’re right,” she said, glancing away. She felt sick to her stomach. She needed him right now, wanted him to be here like she always wanted him. They were still friends, but it felt like there was a boundary held between them that wasn’t there before. 

“Have a good night, Vanya,” he said. 

“You too,” she mumbled. 

***

Ben and Klaus came home early that night. She was laying against the couch, staring dejectedly at the wall and listening to “Danse Macabre” when Ben and Klaus came inside, making out and already pulling off their clothes. 

“Oh, hey, Vanya,” Ben said, noticing her laying down. Then he recognized the music. “Oh, God, what’s wrong?”

“I’m stupid,” she said, wishing she had a drink. Maybe surrounding herself with alcoholics was a bad decision. 

“You’re not stupid,” Klaus said. “But, could you hold that thought for a little bit?”

Vanya frowned at them. “You guys are free to have sex if you’d like. I’ll be fine.”

Klaus groaned. “We can’t do that without feeling guilty. Also, uh. Leonard was there…”

“Yeah,” she said, still wanting a drink. 

“You okay?” Klaus came to the couch, moving her legs away so he could sit down easier. Ben sat down on the chair beside the couch. 

“Yeah,” she said. “It shouldn’t happen again, I don’t think.” 

“It won’t,” Ben reassured her. “We talked to the bouncers and now everyone knows not to let him in. Still, that had to be scary.”

“It’s not why I’m upset,” she mumbled, which felt wrong to say. Shouldn’t she be panicking over that more than anything else? 

“That’s okay,” Klaus told her, grabbing her hand. “Why are you upset though, Vanya?”

“I have feelings for Five.”

Ben and Klaus were sending each other very meaningful glances that she couldn’t interpret. 

“What is it?” she asked. 

“Nothing,” Ben said quickly. 

“Isn’t Five kind of a jerk?” Klaus asked. Ben looked like he wanted to hit him. 

“Well, yeah, he’s a jerk,” Vanya didn’t see a point arguing there. “But he’s not completely awful.”

“Does he even want a relationship though?” 

“I mean, maybe? When we kissed, we didn’t talk for a little bit. I mean, I didn’t go to work that day, which maybe had something to do with it.”

“Should you _be_ in a relationship now?” Klaus asked. 

Vanya shrugged. “Maybe not, but Leonard was a long time ago.”

“Yeah, and he’s still bothering you,” Ben argued. 

“Why are you guys suddenly so adamant about me not dating?” 

“Five isn’t good for you,” Klaus told her sagely. 

“You haven’t seemed to mind him in the past.”

“He doesn’t seem like the relationship type.”

Vanya frowned at Ben. “You guys are acting weird. Spill.”

“What happened with Leonard was _bad_ , Vanya. We just don’t want that to happen again. You finally got to a point where you were able to even care about anything anymore, and maybe you shouldn’t be involved for a bit. Even if you like Five, you should try waiting a little longer. We’re just worried about you.” Ben ended his speech with a quick pat to her knee. 

“And it’s not like you guys can’t get together later, but it’s smartest that you don’t,” Klaus’s voice was usually not this serious, and Vanya was confused by his current sincerity. 

“Was I really that bad off?”

They shared another significant glance before nodding. Vanya settled her legs against Klaus’s lap, leaning her head back. 

***

Vanya kept sneaking glances to Five during her shift the next day. He offered her a tentative smile each time, and she wondered if she should go speak to him. 

He made the decision for her. 

“You feeling better tonight?” he asked her when she had taken a break from dancing. She nodded.

“Good, I’m glad,” he told her. “This is kind of a weird question, but my brother has been bugging me so much to meet my employees and I was wondering if you would want to eat lunch with him, his wife, and me tomorrow?”

She nodded, grateful that things _weren’t_ weird like she had worried. She was confused though. “Why don’t you invite Ben or Klaus though?”

He shrugged apologetically. “I honestly think Luther would say that Klaus is a bad influence, sorry. I know Klaus is better, but my brother is a bit of a control freak.”

“No, I get it. Have you been sober?” 

“I have,” he said, offering a very genuine looking smile. “Honestly, I feel better in many regards.”

“I’m glad,” she told him. “I’ll for sure come to lunch. What should I wear? And also how many paychecks am I gonna be wasting here? I gotta prepare how much I’m gonna cry.”

He smirked, “I’ll buy, don’t worry. Also, wear what you want. I’d love to see Allison Hargreeves sitting next to someone who isn’t wearing designer clothes, let her be a little humbled.”

“I don’t know why it just occurred to me that your sister-in-law is a celebrity,” Vanya thought to all of the times she’d seen Allison on covers of magazines. To be fair, Five was in some of those magazines as well. She was suddenly intimidated by eating lunch with them. 

“Don’t worry, Allison’s a softie. Well. She will be to you. I hope.”

Vanya laughed. “Are you guys not close?”

“More like she’s pissed off at me,” he said, glancing behind them with a far away expression. 

“Why is she pissed at you?” 

“Because I was an ass to her.” 

She frowned. “Why were you an ass to her?”

“Vanya, could we talk?” Five blurted.

Vanya took in his guilty expression for a few moments before she finally nodded. 


	6. I’m blinded by the lights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanya and Five talk, and he confesses a mistake he made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long for this update! I am officially 75% done with this story now though, and I am so happy for it!! I’m hoping that by the end of this month maybe I can finish it completely!! Considering this was for the Fiveya Secret Santa exchange, it should’ve been done uh. Eight months ago. So.  
> I hope y’all enjoy this chapter, it’ll get into real smut the next chapter!

Five and Vanya went back to the donut shop by her place after her shift had ended. He kept shooting furtive glances her way as he drove her. She wanted to ask him what he wanted to talk about, but she knew that there was guilt there. That kept her from demanding he say what he was thinking, afraid of what he could possibly be guilty for. 

Vanya wondered if she should say _something_ though. It was awkward, and there was no music blaring around them to stifle the uncomfortable air around them. She was just starting to say something, anything when they finally reached the shop. 

He parked, and she asked, “Is it something I did?”

“No, God, no. It’s…” He trailed off. She had never seen him like this before, she was pretty sure. There was something so _raw_ to his features, and she wanted to comfort him but she didn’t even know how.

And then it occurred to her. 

“You broke sobriety,” she deduced. Years with Klaus’s habit made her assume that this was coming from that. She wanted to comfort him, somehow, let him know that she understood recovery wasn’t linear and that people made mistakes sometimes.

“It’s not that,” Five said, staring resolutely ahead of him. “Vanya, I slept with someone that night. That’s why I didn’t answer when you tried to get a hold of me. And if I had _known_ -“

“Five, it’s fine,” she said quickly, not wanting to hear the rest of this. She didn’t think it would change where they were at now anyways. “We kissed once, it’s not like we were anything significant. It’s seriously fine. We’re friends now.”

“I wanted it to be something significant,” he admitted, staring at his steering wheel like it had all of the answers to the universe. Perhaps it just looked so interesting because it wasn’t able to judge him the way she could. 

She gently touched his hand. He glanced up, eyes filled with vulnerability. 

“It’s okay,” she insisted. “I’m not mad at you.”

“You should be.” 

She sighed. Honestly, she wasn’t sure what she was feeling, but she did know she had been certain he had broken sobriety. When she realized that he hadn’t broken it, at least as far as drinking or doing drugs, she had felt significantly lighter. She thought back to all the times Klaus had struggled; she knew that he _still_ struggled no matter what he claimed otherwise. 

“I’m just glad you’re sober,” she told him honestly. “It’s not your fault Leonard is an ass. You have no control over that.” 

“I should’ve been there when you asked for my help, Vanya. It’s what a good friend would do.”

She realized she was still holding his hand. She wondered if she should move it. What _truly_ were they to one another? Were they really just friends like they seemed to say to one another so often? Did friends have to say that so many times, as if to reassure themselves? She knew that she _did_ think of him as a friend, but she didn’t know if she wanted something more. She knew that if this had been someone else, she would have already sealed up all of her romantic feelings because she couldn’t see this ever going further and _working._

“Are we really friends though?” She asked. He flinched, pulling his hand away. 

His face was flushed, and he went back to staring ahead of them. He cleared his throat. “I mean, I thought we were friends, but I mean. I shouldn’t have just _assumed._ ”

She realized why he had been uncomfortable immediately, and she quickly went to do work on damage control. “I just mean that I don’t know what we feel for each other. We’ve never said that out loud. I just don’t think right now I’m ready for anything more than friendship because if this has been any indication, my feelings are a little volatile right now and so are yours, I think.”

“I’m fine just being friends,” he said quickly. “I don’t want anything you don’t.”

She _did_ want him though. She wanted him a lot, but she also knew that on some level this was not ideal timing. She also knew that she was skirting around wanting to give him a definite absolute answer because she didn’t want to lose this. 

Leaning forward and kissing him probably sent some pretty mixed signals. He made a surprised noise, waiting for her confirmation to continue. She pressed her hands against his cheeks, hoping that this wasn’t so inappropriate that he was logically going to have to fire her. 

“Vanya,” he said, pulling back. He didn’t move her hands from his cheek. In fact, he place his own hands over them, keeping them steady. “ _What_ are you doing?”

“I don’t know,” she told him, leaning forward again. He kissed her back, but he pulled away again, still reluctant. 

“You just said you’re not ready,” he reminded her gently. 

“I didn’t say I didn’t _want_ to,” she whispered. 

He looked clearly conflicted, which probably showed how reasonable of a person he was being here, but she kind of wished he was the asshole that he was advertised to be in that instant. If he were that asshole, they would be all over each other right now. 

She climbed into his lap. Maybe she could bring that asshole out. 

“Vanya,” his voice was a plea. She was aware throwing herself on him might’ve looked a little desperate, and then insecurity filled her. Did Five even want this?

She started to pull away, but he kept a steady hold on her.

“Vanya, if you don’t want a relationship, and you want to be friends, what could this possibly be? And are you going to be upset tomorrow if this goes any further? I don’t want to do something wrong-“

“I want this,” she told him. She really, really wanted this. “Please, can we just talk about it later? Please?”

Five looked like he wanted to argue. She braced herself for it. 

“This changes nothing,” he said finally. “We’re still going to be friends, we’re still-“

She started kissing him, and he made a startled noise. Finally, he was showing no signs of hesitance when he kissed her back. He moved his mouth away, only to start kissing her neck. She whimpered at the contact, grinding down against him. He was already starting to-

Someone knocked on their window. Vanya glanced up, worried it was a cop. She didn’t think it was though unless the guy was undercover. He had a huge smile on his face though, so she didn’t think that was the case. Oh no. They had encountered some sort of pervert who stood outside of donut shops to watch people make out. 

“Luther?” Five asked, hastily pulling away from Vanya’s face. She noticed he didn’t move her off his lap, for which she was grateful but she imagined it had something to do with what was poking her thigh more than the passion of the moment. 

“I was getting donuts for Allison!” the guy, Luther, said. Vanya realized that he looked familiar, and _why_ he looked familiar and nearly yelped. 

“You’re Luther Hargreeves, Allison Hargreeves’s husband,” Vanya blurted. 

“Well, yeah, and Five’s twin,” Luther acknowledged. “Are you… Vanya, by any chance?”

Vanya felt her face burn. Luther was definitely not going to think Five was responsible and changing his life around now. 

Except… Luther looked happy to see her, extending his hand through the rolled down window. 

“Yeah, I’m Vanya,” she said weakly.

“Why does Allison just suddenly want donuts here?” Five asked in an accusatory tone, not seeming keen on Luther and Vanya being introduced despite the fact that they were supposed to eat lunch with them in less than twenty four hours. Perhaps it was just that Luther had essentially cockblocked him and nothing else, to be fair. 

“She had a craving, it was on my way home,” Luther said, though he sounded guilty. 

“Is she keeping tabs on my phone again?” Five sneered, and Vanya suddenly was convinced that maybe she shouldn’t be privy to this conversation. She wondered if she could cover her ears and be subtle about it. 

“She was worried you’d break sobriety,” Luther argued. “She’s just being a good-“

“How is _violating my privacy_ being a good sister-in-law?” Five growled. Vanya wished suddenly that she had superpowers, specifically the power of invisibility. Or the power to get the fuck out of awkward conversations. Both wonderful powers to have in this scenario. 

“You don’t understand how scary it is for us,” Luther implored. “We worry about you, and you don’t exactly throw a lot of bones as to how you’re doing. Plus, you skipped therapy-“

“And how would you know that without my therapist violating HIPAA?” Five asked. He seemed to notice Vanya staring and focused extra hard on Luther like she would disappear if he glared at Luther enough. 

“Hey, your therapist didn’t tell us, tracking your phone told us,” Luther was quick to defend the therapist, making Vanya wonder if he had tried that before. She also wondered how she was possibly going to eat lunch with Luther and Allison after witnessing this conversation. 

She was also kind of annoyed on Five’s behalf, to be completely honest. 

“Do you know how long Five has been sober for?” Vanya interrupted them. Five looked worried, Luther looked more curious than upset. She imagined Five doesn’t usually share much information with him. “He’s been doing pretty well for himself, which is surprising because I’m pretty sure I saw someone do cocaine off a barstool at the club like two nights ago.”

Luther started looking worried, so she hurried on. “If Five were really bad off, he would have already broken sobriety. Clearly, he has some motivation for being sober right now, and you should give him a little credit where it’s due.”

“Is what she said true, Five?” Luther asked. She had expected him to be a jerk to her, telling her that this was none of her concern, but he seemed more than anything _grateful_ to her for letting him in Five's life. It occurred to her that Luther was just concerned and really, really, _really_ bad about showing it. She couldn’t imagine how Klaus would react to her tracking his phone, but she also knew Klaus would tell her if he had gotten really bad off and she wouldn’t find out by him being found in a ditch somewhere. 

“I haven’t done drugs or alcohol in a while,” Five said, frowning at both of them. He seemed to really not enjoy the thought of Vanya and Luther teaming up on something. Vanya wondered how she could subtly give Luther her number, so that she could keep him updated on Five and help him out when she couldn’t get to Five. 

“That’s great,” Luther said. “Well. Ah. Sorry. I’ll leave you two…. ah, to it. And I’ll tell Allison to quit calling too.”

“I’ll see you at lunch,” Vanya called. He walked back to them hurriedly, a puppy-like smile on his face. 

“You guys are finally together?” Luther asked. Five groaned. “I’ve been rooting for you ever since Five told me he had a crush-“

“Luther,” Five said through gritted teeth. “Shut _up_.”

Vanya was amused. “We’ll be at lunch, don’t worry. Please do tell me all about his crush while you’re there too.”

Five looked like the world had ended, and she smirked. The air had been so tense just moments before, and she kind of appreciated the very sharp turn this night had taken. Luther went inside to buy donuts, and Vanya mumbled in his ear, “Take me home before someone else stops us again.” 

“Ben and Klaus,” Five said, a panicked expression in his eyes. “We gotta go to my place. We can’t let them in on this too.”

“That’s why Ben and Klaus were freaking out,” Vanya said, crawling off of him as the dots started to connect. “They knew you had slept with someone else! Oh, well, maybe I should be mad. Huh. I’ll think about it. Let’s have sex before I do.”

Five frowned at her, and she urged him to step on the gas so they could get back to his place. They did, in record timing that would have probably gotten them a ticket if they hadn’t been careful. They rushed inside, Vanya not bothering to gather her surroundings. Five flicked on some lights, kissing her. She made a surprised grunt as he lifted her up, but she quickly wrapped her legs around him. 

He didn’t bother carrying her to the bedroom. She was glad- it felt like this had been coming for a while. He closed the door quickly before pushing her against the wall right beside it, putting one hand up against and the other to hold her steady in his arms. 

“Fuck,” Vanya groaned, seeking friction with her hip and slamming her head back against the wall. She would probably regret it afterwards that she had hit her head, but she was focused right now.

“I know,” he responded, shrugging off his shirt and jacket. She started to follow his motions, but he asked, “Can I take them off?”

She blushed, nodding quickly. He kissed her nose, taking care with taking off the outfit she had chosen to dance in tonight. Most nights before she left work, she changed into her regular clothes, but she wanted out of there as soon as she had finished her shift so she could talk with Five. He bunched up the dress into his hands, pushing it over her shoulders and making a point to kiss all the bare skin he came in contact with. He pulled off the tights next, slipping them over her ankles so that she was just looking down at him in her underwear. 

“Can you take off your pants so we’re equal?” she blurted, looking away in embarrassment as she did. He chuckled, quickly stepping out of his pants and shoes as he did. 

“I’ve wanted this a while,” she admitted, biting her lip. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked, pressing his forehead to her own. “We can talk-“

“Sex now,” Vanya said quickly, not wanting to get into that quite yet. She worried if they talked right this instant, they’d somehow convince themselves to back out at the last minute. “Talk later.”

He arched a brow. “Are we actually going to talk about it then?”

“Yes,” she promised. 

“Okay,” he nodded, already moving back to her. She hissed as he snapped her bra’s clasp, pulling the fabric off her shoulder and she was more exposed before him and the slight chill to his place. 

He rested his knee against the wall, encouraging her to grind against it. He just stared at her chest for a second, watching the flush reach down before he looked back up at her. 

“Talk later,” he repeated, already moving down to her chest to kiss her there. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Two chapters to go and then it’s done! I think my plan is to finish this before I start updating Human again unless you guys object. I’ll probably keep posting one shots too, and Honeypot is gonna get updates as well because it’s only got two chapters to go.


	7. No, I can’t sleep until I feel your touch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took so long to complete!!! However, we are officially at the homestretch 🥳🥳 just one more chapter before I have finished this fic!!! I have enjoyed writing this one a lot, and I enjoy even more that it is now 87.5% done!!! 😭😭

Vanya tilted her head back against the wall, panting as Five’s teeth scraped against her collarbone. At the small noises, he glanced up at her, softly urging her to look at him. As she did, staring into his green eyes that had darkened from being dilated as he took her in, he pressed his lips back to her. One of his hands came to rest on the wall behind them, and he shifted so that most of her weight was held up against his thigh. “I’ve wanted you for so long,” Five mumbled, moving his lips to her jaw. “I can’t believe this is really happening.”

“I can’t either,” Vanya admitted.

“Do you want to stop?” Five asked again, keeping her held up but moving away just a little. She shook her head fervently, wanting anything but that. She pulled him back to her, needing him closer, needing to feel his skin against her own, needing to soothe the ache of feeling like he was already slipping from her gasp. 

They were messy and damaged and rough-around-the-edges. She knew that, knew that they were probably not in the best places for this right now, but they had been gravitating towards one another for  _ months.  _ Five, despite everything else, had maintained his sobriety. She didn’t think she could bear skirting around each other for any longer, and this didn’t have to start a  _ relationship  _ if they decided against it, they could be something casual and still friends. 

“Touch me,” Vanya requested, mainly to silence her thinking. He obliged, moving his mouth down to kiss against her collarbones and then her breast and then her stomach and then-

He glanced up, holding her up with his arms and kneeling in front of her. “Can you rest your thighs on my shoulder?”

She nodded shakily, but she still asked concernedly, “If I’m too heavy or if-“

“You weigh practically nothing, I’ll be okay,” Five told her, gripping onto her thighs and lowering her down onto him. Sensing her hesitation, he added, “I’ll tap your thigh three times if I need you to get off of me.”

She panted, “Wouldn’t this be easier on a-“

“Do you want this?” Five asked. She whimpered out an affirmative, and that was enough of an answer for him, wrapping her thighs around him fully and setting to work. 

“Holy fuck,” Vanya gasped as his lips pressed against her clit. As his tongue moved down to where he was lapping her up, he seemed to realize the futility in the task as he couldn’t use his hands and angled his nose to his advantage instead. She nearly fell off the wall with the way she trembled at the action, but he steadily held her up with his arms, proving his thesis that he could handle this. 

“I’ve wanted you for so long,” Vanya groaned again, rolling her hips against his face. When he made a small noise in response, she commented, “And it’s seriously so much easier to like you when your mouth is preoccupied.”

She could feel him as he started laughing against her, not ceasing the movements with his tongue but clearly amused. Vanya was pretty certain she was one of the few people who regularly teased and called Five out on his bullshit, that he appreciated she was so comfortable with him. She imagined that it helped that he cared for her or else her snark wouldn’t be as appreciated. 

Five’s nose brushed against the bundle of nerves again, and she yelped. “You’re so fucking good at this,” Vanya grumbled. “It’s annoying how talented you are at this.”

He bit her clit, and her eyes screwed shut, thrusting against his face brokenly. “F-five.”

Five continued licking up all she had to offer, and all of the bravado she had managed before was sinking away. Now, all she could manage was his name and for him to  _ keep going, please.  _ He listened to her requests, arms holding her up as she started to drift down the wall and she continually worried he would drop her, like he was trying to prove her thinking wrong. 

Eventually, it was all too much, and she whimpered out that she was close, and he-

Pulled away. 

“Five,” she whimpered, tearing up as he lifted her up off of him. “Wh-what are you doing?”

He flicked an eyebrow up, amused, “Taking you to my bedroom.”

“But you’re going to finish the job, right?” Vanya could  _ not _ believe she was sobbing out of sexual frustration in front of this man. 

“Yes, V,” he said, scooping her up into his arms and walking her to what she assumed was his bedroom. “But I want to keep going after that, and I don’t wish to pass out from lack of breath, so I need you spread out for me on my bed instead.”

She whimpered weakly, and he settled her on his bed. “Apparently, giving you head humbles you,” Five remarked, arranging the pillows so that she would be comfortable there and crawling over her. 

“Apparently, giving me head makes you even more arrogant,” Vanya quipped, and he smirked at her like  _ ‘want me to stop?’  _ “Also, if you dare try to stop, I will tell Luther when we get lunch.”

“Why would Luther care whether or not I gave you head?”

“He seems like he’s the type of man to eat somebody out,” Vanya mused. 

“You are killing all of my arousal by talking about my twin brother eating people out right now.”

“Oh, well, we could always stop. I could go back to my apartment and-“

Five scowled, moving between her thighs again and not even speaking before he went back to eating her out. She was unable to add any more sarcastic comments, which she felt was entirely unfair of him, but- 

“If you  _ dare  _ fucking stop again, Five-“

He bit her clit again, and her point was moot as her stomach coiled and she sobbed through her orgasm. Five didn’t stop after she came though, moving back to her entrance to continue gathering up her arousal with his tongue. She could barely even let out cries by that point, and she contented herself with laying against the pillows as her legs started to feel gelatinous. 

The second wave hit her momentarily, and Vanya stuttered out a plea for him to stop. He pulled back as quickly as she asked to stop, raising his brows, “Too much?”

“Over… s-stimulated,” she whimpered. 

Five rolled off of her for a moment before crawling up to where their heads were aligned with one another on the bed. He pulled her to his chest after confirming she was okay with it, spooning against her. “Has it been awhile for you, I assume?” Five asked softly into her ear, and she nodded roughly. “Okay, we can talk now, or just wait a second for you to calm down a bit.”

Vanya gripped his wrist, pressing his palm to her flushed and sweaty cheek. “Do you want to talk?”

“I’d like to if you’re able.”

She nodded, clutching onto his hand. “First of all, we need to decide. What do we want from this?”

Five’s voice was hesitant, holding none of the confidence he usually held in it, “I was serious. When I said I’d want this to be something significant. But I do… understand if that’s not what you want, given everything.”

“I don’t think I need to jump into a relationship,” Vanya told him honestly, easier to do when she wasn’t facing him and couldn’t see his eyes as his body tensed. “But I do want that  _ eventually.  _ I guess what I’m saying is that I want us to get to a point where it is something significant, but I don’t want to just… be  _ consumed  _ by a relationship right now.”

“So you’re saying you want to take it slow?” Five asked, pulling her more tightly to his chest. 

“With the acknowledgement that it  _ will  _ one day be a serious relationship.”

Five cleared his throat. “Do you want to talk about-“

She turned around in his arms, looking into his eyes, “You’re forgiven. If you agree to sleep with no one else unless we call this off.” 

He nodded. “Of course.” 

“There’s something else too,” Vanya added, turning back around so that she wasn’t looking at him. “Leonard has been neglecting the restraining order, so we have to be careful.” 

“I would kill him,” Five told her, resting his chin on the top of her head. “If you wanted.” 

She laughed, startled at the dark humor, “Thanks. I just worry more than anything that he’s going to… I don’t know, him breaking the restraining order... It makes me scared what else he’ll try.” 

“Do you think it’s safe to keep working at the club? I can assure you he won’t be coming back to it, but there are definitely still assholes even if he’s not able to come,” Five settled his hand on her hip, keeping her steady. There was a lot of comfort in him curled up against her. 

“I mean, I need a job.” 

“I could take care of you, if you needed,” Five blurted before going very quiet. 

Vanya wasn’t offended. Actually, she wanted to see how much she could use this to fuck with him. “You trying to be my sugar daddy, Five?” Vanya asked, moving back to where they were face to face so he could see the amusement on her face. “Pretty sure Luther would frown upon you having a sugar baby.” 

Five actually  _ blushed.  _ “I just meant that I wouldn’t let you starve if you needed to quit. You are one of the draws to the club, yes, but you’re also important to me and I don’t want you to do something you dislike.”

It was oddly touching. “I mean, I definitely don’t  _ want  _ to be a dancer for the rest of my life, no. The pay is fine, but it’s not what I want out of life. More than anything, I want to be a violinist.”

“I want you to be happy,” Five said, reaching up to stroke her hair, scratching his fingers across her scalp almost comfortingly. “You don’t have to worry about money is all I’m saying. You could also always teach violin lessons while you keep trying out for orchestras, and I mean… When Klaus and Ben are married, I imagine you’ll not want to…”

Vanya realized  _ why  _ Five had trailed off from speaking, and she commented wryly, “Pretty sure moving in together counts as not taking things slow.”

“It’s why I didn’t finish saying it.” He sounded miserably embarrassed, and Vanya stifled laughter. 

“I’m not actually upset,” she assured him. “I would probably convince Diego to let me move in with him if Ben and Klaus didn’t want me living with them anymore. I don’t imagine they’re planning on starting a family or anything like that, but I mean. Ben would probably want Klaus to live at his place. The only reason Klaus even still lives with me is because I can’t afford  _ not _ having a roommate.” 

He nodded, and she could sense him wanting to say more. She gave him a few moments before ultimately deciding they could have a more in-depth conversation sometime later. They’d handled all of what was important to her right then, and they had plenty of time to figure it out. 

She craned her neck to kiss him first. Then, once he started to respond, she turned around completely and crawled onto his lap.

“You’re ready?” He asked, and she ground her hips against him in response. At his hiss of breath, she realized that he had not had any sort of release yet, and she took pity on him, reaching down to press her hand against him.

Five groaned, and she commented, “I hope giving head humbles you too.”

Five sucked in a loud breath, but she was already moving down, closing her mouth around him.

It _did_ indeed humble him too. 

“Vanya,” he said after a few minutes, hand twisted into her hair and tugged on it until he could grab her attention. She pulled off with a  _ pop,  _ glancing up at him with a raise of her brow. “I need you to stop… I want to be inside of you, okay?”

She nodded, and he lifted her up so that she was at eye-level before reaching around in his nightstand and pulling out a condom, tearing it quickly and rolling it on. 

Vanya gently pushed him against the bed, relishing in what she’d constitute as a  _ squeak _ as he fell against the pillow, and reached down to touch him, this time guiding him to her entrance as she sank down against him. 

They both made small noises at the feeling of finally being together. She wondered how long he had thought about this moment, knowing she had for quite a while. His mouth was open, and he watched her with  _ awe.  _ The way he looked at her felt different than any other person she’d ever been with before, and she felt herself smiling down at him as she grew acclimated to the sensation of feeling full, not moving save to press her palms against his chest. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he told her, resting a hand against her thigh and rubbing circles on the skin there. “You just  _ stun  _ me, everyday. When you smile, you radiate such-“

Vanya pressed a hand to his mouth, jerking her hips sharply against him. “Five, I really appreciate that, but I’m pretty sure, between the two of us, we have enough daddy issues that we both might start simultaneously sobbing. Which would absolutely kill the mood.”

Laughter bubbled against her hand, and she moved it away, contented, moving steadily against him. 

“If you don’t let me tell you that aft-“

“I’ll be counting on it,” Vanya assured. She didn’t tell him that the way he had been talking had been overwhelming in a way she couldn’t fathom. The way he spoke with such confidence about caring about her, spoke in such a matter-of-fact manner, stunned her. It was odd how he could do that, could be so much more  _ gentle  _ with her than other people. Vanya wondered why it was that she had become the exception for his generally closed-off personality. 

Well, she knew, but she wasn’t ready to admit to herself why he did. Not yet. But eventually. 

She rolled her hips more rapidly as she thought back on all the moments over the months that had led up to this, feeling the sensation in her stomach starting to build up again. Vanya was pretty certain he was close as well, and she grunted out, “Close.” 

He nodded, circling his palms around her hips to help guide her movements, and, as she felt herself tightening around him, she let him take the lead, succumbing to his grip on her and just letting her head tip back and mouth fall open in bliss. Five reached down to press his thumb roughly to her clit, and, as she was already overstimulated from before, the movement made her yelp as her climax washed over her. Five followed soon after, spilling into the condom, and she collapsed on top of his chest, letting him tangle his hands into her hair and tell her all he had wanted to say before. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who has been reading this story!!! I intend to have all WIPS (except possibly “Lightning in a Bottle”) to be done before fiveya week, which starts November 1st.   
> While we’re at it!!! Fiveya week is a week for all types of creative work centering around Fiveya, both platonic or romantic!!! It will be from November 1st to November 7th, and, hopefully, some of you guys will be inspired to do something for it!!! The prompts are as follows: memories, dance/train, childhood, sparrow AU, guilt, end/begin, and free day. If you post nsfw or potentially triggering content, please make sure to tag accordingly! For all of the details, please check out fivevanya.tumblr.com , which will have them posted!   
> I will be participating, and I said in one of my WIPS before that I’d post snippets for it, so... here is a snippet from day one’s prompt, memories. 
> 
> “The thing about Five is- he can never give the silent treatment. Because that would mean shutting the fuck up for longer than eight seconds at a time. He would never beat her at this game.   
> “Jesus Christ,” Five grumbled after exactly eight seconds. “Fine, you win. I’ll get my fucking wisdom teeth taken out. While we’re at it, maybe I could go to therapy for my ‘mental health’ or the doctor for my ‘alarmingly high blood pressure.’”   
> “You’re saying this like these are not things you should absolutely be doing,” Vanya remarked.”


	8. When I’m like this, you’re the one I trust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I...... have finally gotten this done. And in celebration. I will not force myself to write a chapter summary 😤

“How do you know where Five lives?” Vanya asked the three men standing at his door. Five was frowning at them, not necessarily seeming irritated but more just confused as to why they were there. 

“So you  _ are _ fucking,” Diego set his hand to the side, taking a five dollar bill from Ben. “Klaus bet against me too, you know.”

Ben rolled his eyes, handing him another five dollars. 

“Have I become a ghost? Is that why nobody is answering my question? Is this some sort of purgatory where I have to see you guys at all times?”

“You’d be lucky to spend your afterlife with me,” Klaus said, studying his fingernail polish. He always somehow chipped it during his time dancing, and Vanya frankly did not understand why he even bothered with it. 

“Why are you guys here?” Five asked. 

“Wait, were you the one to tell them where you live? You realize that inviting Klaus into your home is worse than inviting vampires, right? You can’t rescind Klaus’s invitation, and he  _ will  _ drink straight out of your milk carton after he’s picked out all the good parts of your leftovers.”

“I feel like that was a slight against me,” Klaus told her. 

“That was the intention, yes.”

“Why are you guys here?” Five repeated, interrupting Klaus and Vanya before they would start bickering more. It was a common occurrence, one that Ben and Diego had long ago gotten used to and Five would soon be forced to. 

“We found out that you were holding out on us.”

“There’s probably some sign of codependency in the fact that you all feel the need to come to my place the second you’ve figured out that Vanya and I have slept together.”

“That’s not what we’re talking about, obviously,” Diego commented. 

“Yeah, we found out that you were getting lunch.”

“And?”

“We want a free meal, obviously!”

Five frowned at the three of them, and Ben added, “Also, we had to make sure that Vanya didn’t regret it.”

She wasn’t sure if Five intended to glance over to her, but she smiled at him. “No, I don’t. Also, did you guys seriously come here for the opportunity of a free meal?”

“We were trying to make sure that you-“

“Yeah, it was for the free meal,” Klaus interpreted for Ben, who had a sense of shame that Diego and Klaus did not.

Vanya opened her mouth to beg them to act normal, but then Five said, “You guys are welcome to come, but  _ please  _ do not ask Allison about her movie projects.”

“Is she one of those celebrities that hates having fans?” Diego asked. 

“No, I just really hate hearing about her movie projects.”

Vanya hid her smile. 

“Also, if Luther asks about me, please do not make me look horrible. Please. I think he is just now starting to have faith in me again, and I really cannot risk losing that.”

“Are we allowed to tell him that we think you’re an asshole still?” 

Five shrugged, “Yeah, I mean, at this point I feel like Luther is used to hearing that said about me, honestly.”

“I feel like Luther sounds like a more reliable father to you than your actual father,” Klaus noted. 

“You’re not wrong.” 

* * *

Allison and Klaus, within minutes of meeting each other, decided that they would be best friends forever, and Allison was currently discussing dirt on a variety of Broadway actors. Diego and Luther kept assessing each other, like they were trying to decide who was better at being a mother hen and control freak to their groups. Ben, Five, and Vanya watched the ensuing chaos in bemusement, going through the stages of grief before eventually accepting that this would just be the new normal for them. 

“I think Allison is trying to scope out Klaus as her new passion project, remind me to thank him later,” Five murmured to her. She smiled at him, holding onto his hand. 

“I’m really glad for you,” Allison announced, and Vanya felt herself begin to flush. “Five actually may well become likable under your influence.” 

Vanya raised her brows. “I wouldn’t go that far. He’s still very much an asshole.”

“I’m starting to think that I would be more likable if I was surrounded by people who said  _ nice  _ things about me,” Five noted dryly. 

“I wouldn’t go that far, either,” Vanya snorted. 

“Allison, would you be my maid of honor?” Klaus asked. 

“I thought I was going to be your maid of honor,” Vanya complained. “How are you rebounding on me before we’ve even had a falling out?”

“It’s a calculated, preemptive move. I feel like in three days or so you’ll be moving in with Five, and I need a rebound established before then.”

Vanya made an offended enough face that Ben offered an apology, deciding rightfully that Klaus would absolutely not offer it. 

* * *

Vanya made the decision, ultimately, to at least fulfill a two weeks notice before she quit the club. She started taping posters advertising violin lessons at whatever coffee shops, libraries, or schools that would allow her. While she worked in those two weeks, she started exploring positions for string technicians at local schools as well. Diego and Vanya started searching around for apartments together, which was difficult mainly because Diego was picky as hell and also very petty about the fact that she and Klaus chose to not renew the lease where they had been all this time, mainly because Diego was convinced that it was the only good place they would ever be able to afford (but she was pretty sure that he was actually just super sentimental towards it, despite the fact that it was very much a shithole and despite the fact that Vanya and Klaus had a neighbor who once pissed on their front door when Vanya asked him, very politely, to stop listening to porn on a panoramic soundbar.) 

Five started looking into his other businesses, which gave Vanya a lot of fuel to make fun of him while she stayed over at his place one night. It made her laugh every time at how easily he could be flustered, and, when she realized that he had, indeed, been hanging around the club so often because of her, it was easy to find something to make fun of him for. 

Part of Vanya was aware that it wouldn’t be long before she accepted that this would be something long-term. The one excellent perk to Five being abhorrently and obscenely wealthy was that once Leonard tried to violate his restraining order again another time (and was sent to prison for eighteen months after violating it enough times), Five was able to offer up a variety of security measures that, before Leonard, she would have found entirely excessive, but were now reassuring. Vanya knew that he would much rather her just live at his place, where he had his own security, but he respected her desire to avoid jumping into anything else. She knew that at one point it would be, and she also knew that part of her wanted to wait until she completely trusted him, with not a single doubt in her mind. And he’d been following all of the rules she had laid out early on down to the letter, and she knew that she would eventually get to a point where she was ready to accept it. 

Her first student’s lesson was set to happen the day right after her last night at the club, and, as she was getting ready before then, she told Five that if he ever expected her to wear anything like her dancer’s get-up ever again, she would leave him instantly. He had glanced up from whatever he’d been working on, raising his brow, saying that he would gladly take it off of her as soon as she got home, and she had to stifle her smirk at the fact that he referred to his place as “home” so easily- like it was theirs. She knew if she pointed it out, he would sheepishly apologize, so she doesn’t respond at all, except to tell him that she’d hold him up to it. 

Allison and Luther were talking to Diego at the bar when they walked in, and he looked up at Five and Vanya pleadingly for them to rescue him. Klaus and Ben were arguing at the counter about something inconsequential in their wedding plans. They all waited for the club to officially open before they disbanded, only to collectively groan as the synthetic, eighties sounding pop song came on. Allison and Luther both looked confused at their clear annoyance with the song, and none of them explained because there was no way to explain to ridiculously wealthy people how awful it was when a song that frequently played at one’s place of employment played itself again, creating a deep-routed agony that was only rivaled by the sound of one’s morning alarm. 

As penance, Vanya made Five listen to “Danse Macabre” on the way home, excitedly ranting to him about all of her lesson plans for the student she was about to teach lessons to, stopping only when she saw the way he was staring at her like she was the sun. They parked the car on the side of the road, and she had the outfit off before they were even home. 

Generally speaking, it was frowned upon for two people in a tumultuous and volatile part of their lives to make decisions on how the rest of them would go. But it doesn’t mean that the decisions made during those times would undoubtedly end in regret, it doesn’t mean that they are setting one up for failure, it doesn’t even necessarily mean that they are exclusively made as an impulse. Sometimes, in the darkest parts of people’s lives, there are plans made over extended periods of time but never vocalized aloud. Without foresight to the future, there is no way of telling what choice to make for every single ‘what if’ scenario, and sometimes people make a choice that others may not have suggested for them. And sometimes, they end up changing a life just a little bit for the better. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t know if I like the way I ended this fic, but I have decided by this point that I will likely never be happy with however I finish this, so....I’m accepting this. 
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who has followed this story. It is technically a very, very, very late secret santa gift, and I am so relieved to finally have it off my shoulders. This has been a really nice story to write, but I struggled a lot with this one in particular. I hope that you guys at least kind of appreciate this ending, hahahahah. Thank you to everyone for reading this fic, and I will be trying to finish a few more WIPs before fiveya week, so if you follow any of my other stories, they should be updated soon!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to everyone for reading! I also want to thank Lee for being so considerate while I took forever to write it!


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